It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
