I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
