So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
