uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
