I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
