do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
