he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
