"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
