i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
