so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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