Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
