Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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