She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
