Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The air was thick with penises
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
