We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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