He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
