If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Farmville is her only friend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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