Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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