I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
