yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
