she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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