Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she peed on how many people?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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