the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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