well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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