Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
