guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
