Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
