He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize