stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm both gender and math confused
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
