I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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