Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think your dad took our porno
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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