i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
