the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
