So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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