I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
