Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
