so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
