Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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