we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
the raccoons are back...
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