I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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