i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize