Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
