the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
