cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize