what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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