She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
