i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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