If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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