So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize