Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
