Whatcha textin bout Willis?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
A+ Viking dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
