Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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