I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
