Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
