You work out of a Hotel?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
