Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
And then he peed in my hair
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