and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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