But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Will you blow on my dice?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
