She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
