you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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